Fight test

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To some, life is like a piano, to other it’s like a polo game. To one ex-military, bearded long distance runner and sometime ping-pong player, it’s like a box of chocolates. To me, it’s always been more like a war.

And no, it’s not because I’ve felt like I’ve spent a lot of it in the trenches, caked in grime, with no hint of a recall in sight and with the enemy inching closer with each passing day. You only need to look around you. Don’t you see a battlefield?

Look beyond your bonus paycheck, comfortable apartment sofa and candlelight dates. Don’t you see people who are so paranoid that they are certain that someone is going to end them if they even have one moment of negligence? Don’t you see people who take shots at one another as soon as they have one? Don’t you see so many dead hearts, desperate to do anything just to not feel the pain of existing, even for a moment. But more importantly, don’t you see people who would toil sacrificially, just so they can gain ground on the person next to them? Forrest may not know what he was going to get out of life, but I’ve always known. It’s a battlefield.

‘When the enemy occupies high ground, do not confront him. If he attacks downhill. do not oppose him.’ – Sun Tzu.

I have an almost chronic compulsion to concede moral high grounds. It’s probably why I always find myself with my back against the wall, one more bullet in the barrel and with Mexican troops closing in. I concede them because of a variety of reasons. Horrible decisions in the past that discredit me in the present. The lack of consistency in my decision-making logic over the years. But mostly because I usually have a stronger inclination to make peace more than the other person. I sell away my high grounds cheaply in many cases, bartering them off at throwaway prices just so we can have less awkward meals together or a more peaceful rest-of-the-night.

On many occasions in my life I’ve found myself on lower ground, with my opponent on a higher vantage point, with a clear shot. And in most cases, they’ve taken it. Why? Well, because they could, and because like I’ve said, life is a war, so why wouldn’t you want to win another battle against the other person? Never mind that if it was a family member, a loved one a friend, the business of life is about gaining ground on the next person right? Even if you do love them, there is no harm in keeping them within a clear shot so you can take it if you needed to.

It was therefore an important realisation for me that God was someone that consistently had a moral high ground on me but never took a shot. It’s not like I was ever going to catch him with his pants down. He always had the shot, but he never took it. Instead he showed me how to find my way back up to high ground, gave me the space to get myself there and offered me a helping hand up when I needed one. It’s a realisation that has humbled me tremendously and has helped me re-orientate my perspective on life. Well, a little at least.

I still believe life is war. But you can choose who you want to fight by your side. If you have that someone in your life who’s always had a clear shot on you but has never taken it, hold on to her or him tightly. They are special. Life is a lot easier to live when you know that you have someone next to you that’s not going to clock one in your head when your back’s turned or when you have a moment of weakness. Someone who will give you the time to right the obviously wrong choices you have made, someone who would give you the time to climb back up to high ground to be next to them. Someone who would even offer you a hand when you are trying to.

Cherish these …

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